The high cost of regret versus costly repentance

I was always told that you get what you pay for.  One can buy something cheap, but only if one doesn't mind having to pay the cost again, and again, and yet again, since it probably won't last.  Or one can buy something of better quality that will last but the price will probably be costly. Wisdom, however, tells me to go for costly quality - that lasts.

I think regret and repentance is a lot like that. At first glance, regret seems to be an easier route with little cost.  Repentance on the other hand, seems and is, costly.  Self pays dearly  with repentance.  Because of this, many times we choose regret over true repentance.  But just like the cheap trinket that soon breaks and the price has to be paid again and often, regret is cheap but the price has to be paid again and again.  In the end there is a high cost.

Regret, says, "I sure do regret doing that; I'll do something to make up for it".  It seems easy enough.  Unfortunately just like the trinket, the feeling of making up for the action doesn't last.  So, something else has to be done to make up for the mistake.  And then again, and again.  The feeling of regret is assuage only temporarily.  And each time regret comes back, it seems stronger, requiring even more penance. And the high cost of regret starts its ensnaring cycle.  Of course the irony is that really no amount of penance really makes up for the hurt or the mistake.  Only costly repentance can begin to address that.

We have two famous examples of this economy: Peter and Judas.  Two betrayals.  Two responses to that mistake.  Repentance and regret.  Judas regretted his actions.  But no matter how he tried to rectify the situation, in his own wisdom, his regret only increased, along with self-condemnation until he despaired and destroyed his life.  Peter, on the hand, regretted and then repented, leaving the rectifying up to the Lord.  He turned his eyes from himself, paid the costly price of giving up his pride, and died to himself. Then the Lord gave him life!

So let's bring this home to us.  We make a mistake or we do something that hurts someone.  It is brought to our attention.  We have a choice.  Do we skimp up front and choose regret, trying to 'make up' for our mistake?  What will make up for that mistake or hurt?  We try and our actions don't seem to have the desired effect.  So we try again, and again.  Only our regret is heightened, condemnation sets in, and pretty soon we despair.  Our well being is not the only casualty of this choice, our relationship with the other one is now being destroyed.  Soon the easy way doesn't seem so easy. And it doesn't seem so cheap.  There is a high cost to regret.

Repentance, comes with a steep price up front.  We might be tempted to think that it is too costly. Self would tell us that it is too costly.  Dying to self does not seem like the easy way, nor is it easy.  But it is the only way, to bring restoration to yourself and to the relationship. "I'm sorry, please forgive me" said with genuine contrition might seem to be too high of a price to pay.  As might the cost of allowing the Lord to change one's behavior, allowing Him to guide as to how to make it right. But once paid, it is paid in full.  

Repentance, true repentance of a change heart and a change life, brings life. It brings freedom.  It brings restoration.  It is costly.  But it is the wise choice.